Snow White: The World's Biggest Panto

Sound the apocalypse klaxon: this Christmas, London will be visited by an arena-sized pantomime that stars Mel B as the Scary Queen (not sure what happened to the Wicked Witch), Paddy McGuinness (seriously) as Muddles the Court Jester and 'This Morning' host Rylan Clark-Neal (!) as 'Fleshcreep the hilarious henchman'. Er. Well, either that appeals to you or it doesn't, but we're promised that the production will feature 'a 45 feet tall castle, a blizzard effect which engulfs the audience, 60 feet of water and fire effects, a glittering cast of 100 performers with a 30 piece marching band and amazing cirque aerial acts'. Which does sound pretty awesome.