Elegantly wasted: four fashion-themed cocktails

They say: Inspired by Kate Moss’ now infamous insult, this tipple is as basic as they come with just two ingredients – homemade spiced rum and Punt e Mes vermouth, served over ice.

We say: We reckon we’d be chucked off an EasyJet flight if we knocked back a couple of these, too. The Basic Bitch tastes a bit spicy and seriously alcoholic – and is reminiscent of the concoctions we’d sip from mugs at student house parties. Not for the faint hearted – but it could probably take your nail polish off in an emergency.

They say: A quip about Solange dressing better than her big sis. This blend of Plymouth sloe gin, lemon juice and egg white will leave a sour taste in the mouth.

We say: This one is about as sour and cynical as the giddy front row at a Taylor Swift concert. We found the ‘Reverse Beyonce’ to be the cupcake-eating, Carrie-Bradshaw-quoting epitome of a ‘girly’ cocktail, but still very drinkable indeed.  Maybe we’re just basic bitches… 

They say: According to Anna Wintour, everyone apart from her is a ‘nobody’. Strong words from the editor of US Vogue, much like this mix of Tanqueray, sparkling wine, herbal liqueur and lemon bitters.

We say: Sharp, bitter and citrusy, The Nobody tastes the most like an insult and is all the better for it. It’s also the most aesthetically pleasing of RHC’s LFW drinks – top marks from Time Out’s hard-to-please Style team. 

They say: Karl Lagerfeld came out with this corker about the other Middleton sister. This blend of apple, raspberry, gooseberry, honey and lime intends to jar the senses.

We say: Looks suspiciously healthy, tastes extremely virtuous. As the only booze-free drink of the bunch, we can imagine the fashion crowd knocking back this pleasantly green juice as a pick-me-up before a day of shows. It’s more Deliciously Ella than Kaiser Karl – unless it’s inspired by Lagerfeld’s infamous baby food diet.