Before you ask, no, there’s no connection to the men’s mag. Esquires Coffee is actually part of a nationwide franchise. In fact, this Balham newcomer looks uncannily like its predecessor, Lavish Habit, right down to the mis-matched furniture and the stacks of girly gift-shop wares for sale. Not that this is a bad thing: it was always cute and characterful and happily still is. Other elements have changed, though: the service is nicer, for instance. Sadly, the cooking has gone downhill.
The best things were sweet. There was a trio of thick Canadian-style hot cakes served with maple syrup, a stack of thin-cut bacon and – slightly oddly – slices of banana. Coffees, smoothies and juices were freshly made.
But beware of brunch proper: it’s amateurish at best. Portions may be large but scrambled eggs were bland and bulked-out, meat was fatty, tomato halves were undercooked. Put it this way, on a plate of smoked salmon with scrambled eggs, the (bought-in) salmon was the best thing. The sourdough is decent enough, but there’s too much of it: it all smacks of a cash-strapped home cook trying to make meals go further.
As a place to hang out over coffee and a slice of (bought-in) cake, Esquires does the job. But it’s got a long way to go if it want to join the best of Balham’s brunch brigade.