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Comedians are meant to be pretty funny, right? But surely they need to get their inspiration from somewhere. On a mission to find the funniest Londoner, we asked a bunch of professional funny folk for who they think is the most hilarious person in this city. Here’s what they had to say.
Lou Sanders
‘The funniest woman I know is Maria from my local dry cleaners. She’s always saying she “can’t believe” things, but the things she can’t believe are very mundane. She can’t believe there’s a dead fly in the window, she can’t believe it’s a Wednesday “today of all things”, she can’t believe the boss “don’t want her to smoke inside”. Once, she gave me two grapes and said I had to bury them in the garden. I did it, even though I don’t have a garden. God knows what blessings she’s given my neighbours.’
Lou Sanders’s UK tour ‘One Word: Wow’ is at Leicester Square Theatre, Mar 22 and May 6.
Alex Horne
‘I’d like to nominate a London pigeon that I saw in 2006. It got on a tube carriage at Kensal Green station, disembarked at Marylebone and everyone found it hilarious. I also sat next to a middle-aged businessman on the Bakerloo line in January 2009 who shouted across the train to his friend that for Christmas he got a Man Utd shirt, a Jamie Oliver book, a tattoo and a Toblerone. He said it was his “greatest haul yet”, and I found him hilarious too.’
Watch Alex Horne in ‘Taskmaster’ on All4, and listen to the ‘Taskmaster: The Podcast’.
Emma Sidi
‘My funniest Londoner is the extremely dry and direct shop assistant who works at Yasar Halim on Green Lanes, near where I live. I’ve picked this shop assistant because she says it like it is re: the cakes. She will actively discourage you to get a cake she doesn’t rate. The other day, she stopped me in my tracks when choosing a birthday cake. “No, no, no, love, that one’s made completely of cream. It’s expensive and very bad, wouldn’t recommend.” I think being honest about the products you sell is a uniquely London quality.’
‘Starstruck’ Series 2 airs weekly on Mondays at 10pm on BBC Three.
Paul Chowdhry
‘Some of the funniest people I meet are the ones who deal with the general public on a daily basis, like Jose who works on the door at the Top Secret Comedy Club in Covent Garden. When I go to the club to try out new material, he’s standing at the front door like a gangster in a 1980s “Scarface”-type movie. I greet him as you would with any gangster, and I put on the voice of Tony Montana in “Scarface”. Just for a moment, I feel like Al Pacino’s character in the Brian De Palma masterpiece, but Jose probably thinks I’m an idiot. If he ever reads this, he’ll probably never talk to me again.’
Paul Chowdhry: ‘Family-Friendly Comedian’ is at Hackney Empire, Apr 30-May 1.
Isy Suttie
‘Our estate agent, James (we’re currently selling our flat). He’s the most un-estate-agenty estate agent ever, and when he came to look round our flat we all sat cross-legged on the floor to chat. We recently hit a snag in the selling process and he offered to make us all badges with his wife’s badge-making machine to chill us out.’
Isy’s book ‘Jane Is Trying’ is out now.
Kimberley Datnow
‘There’s this little old lady named Doris who’s always on the same bus as me. Every time the bus door opens and people stream in, Doris unleashes a torrent of insults at unsuspecting passengers. “Look at you with your Prada bag and swooshy hair. Doesn’t change your ugly face, though, does it?” Or: “If that fella had one less tooth, that mouth would be an arse.” Doris is a legend. She hates everybody.’
Kimberley Datnow and Peter Bazely’s show ‘What Women Want’ will be at this year’s Brighton and Edinburgh Fringes.
Phil Wang
‘At the end of a night’s gigging a few years ago, I was on the tube home, hanging my head, tired. I had my eyes on the floor when the train doors opened at a stop. I heard someone whistle. I looked up, and sat on the platform was a menacing man with a shaved head and a serious expression. Without breaking eye contact, he slowly lifted a middle finger up at me. I stared at him for a few seconds, confused, before I burst out laughing. Then he burst out laughing, still holding up the middle finger. We laughed as the doors closed and I continued on home, feeling better. I think about that man a lot.’
Phil Wang’s stand-up special ‘Philly Philly Wang Wang’ is available to stream on Netflix.
Katy Wix
‘My friend Henry is the funniest Londoner I know. When I first met him, I was watching a play. He was sat next to me wearing a large scarab beetle ring. I told him I liked it and we’ve been best friends ever since. He makes me laugh more than anyone I know. We both got stuck in a park once in central London, after the gates were locked. We tried to sleep on the slides but it was too uncomfortable. Eventually, we found a hole in a fence and escaped. It was the most I’ve ever laughed, I think. Whenever I introduce him to people, they usually text me later to say “omg he’s so funny”. I feel very lucky to have him as a friend.’
Katy’s book ‘Delicacy: A Memoir about Cake and Death’ is out now.
The best new theatre shows opening March 2022.
Think city life is a laugh? Take the 2022 Time Out Index survey and tell us why.