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Halloween has horror, Valentine’s Day has romcoms and Christmas movies are a genre unto themselves. In cinematic terms, Easter is the odd holiday out. The day doesn’t really have a definitive movie, and those that count lean either biblical or bunny-centric. Don’t fret, though: we’ve done some searching, and dug out a basket full of treats suitable for everyone – whether you’re devout, lapsed or just in it for the jellybeans.
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
It’s the goriest story ever told! Maybe the only movie to appeal equally to both ultraconservative Catholics and Fangoria subscribers, Mel Gibson’s depiction of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is praise meets torture porn. No joke: it’s two hours of the Messiah (played by Jim Caviezel) being flayed, stabbed, beaten and ultimately crucified, all of which is shown in graphic, close-up detail. Honestly, you’d have to possess Pope-level devotion to suggest throwing it on after dinner, not to mention a strong stomach – but given how much money it made, there are more people who fit that description than you’d think.
Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979)
Not wanting to offend the world’s bazillion Christians was the furthest thought from the Monty Python gang’s mind in this lol-rich departure from the gospel story. Instead of Jesus, we follow Brian (Graham Chapman), a young Jewish man who is hailed as the messiah, has a run-in with the People’s Front of Judea (and the Judean People’s Front), falls foul of the Romans, and finally ends up stuck up on a cross. It’s all a massive misunderstanding, because as his mum says: ‘He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy.’ If you want to look on the bright side this weekend, look no further.
The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)
Loved ‘The Irishman’? Try The Nazorean. This equally meaty Martin Scorsese-directed epic follows Willem Dafoe’s provocatively human Jesus. To pre-empt the inevitable controversy over his carnal Christ, Scorsese even stuck a disclaimer in the opening credits (‘This film is not based on the Gospels,’ it ran, ‘but upon the fictional exploration of the eternal spiritual conflict’), but it wasn’t enough to save him from an ungodly furore. Even Blockbuster refused to stock it, so you can only imagine what the Pope must have thought.
The Long Good Friday (1980)
Never mind about whether ‘Die Hard’ is a Christmas movie, the real question is whether ‘The Long Good Friday’ is an Easter movie. And fackin’ right it is. Okay, Bob Hoskins’ cockney gangster Harold Shand lacks some of the verbal niceties of a proper messiah – you can’t really see Jesus growling: ‘The Romans? I’ve shit ’em!’ – but his efforts to bring the Olympics to east London do look weirdly prophetic with hindsight. And as chance would have it, this Brit crime classic isn’t just set over an Easter weekend, the first draft was written over one too.
Peter Rabbit (2018)
If you only watch one family movie in which a talking rabbit tries to kill a farmer in cold blood, make it this jolly comedy. James Corden voices the no-nonsense bunny and Domhnall Gleeson plays his adversary, Mr McGregor. Leaving aside the much-complained-about bit where the hit-bunny hurls blackberries at the allergic farmer, it’s a cutesy caper that mostly sticks to the spirit of Beatrix Potter’s famous children’s books. Fluffy support is provided by Flopsy (Margot Robbie), Mopsy (Elizabeth Debicki) and Cotton-Tail (Daisy Ridley).
The Gospel According to Matthew (1964)
If, under normal circumstances, your Easter weekend would have involved either a church or an art gallery, Pier Paolo Pasolini’s ascetic black-and-white vision of the life (and death) of Christ will help fill those gaps a little. The Italian director, who filmed this neorealist take on the gospel in southern Italy using non-professional actors, offers a vision of New Testament life with all the painterly qualities of a Renaissance masterpiece. Light a few votive candles, turn down the lights and get spiritual.
Easter Parade (1948)
Judy Garland, Fred Astaire, a bunch of Irving Berlin bangers and a whole mess of MGM razzmatazz… this roaring ’40s musical is a proper visual workout. (Think: Joe Wicks, only for your eyeballs.) The story of a lovelorn Broadway song-and-dance man (Astaire) who goes looking for a new protégée and finds her in Judy Garland’s dancer. Cue great songs and guaranteed uplift.
Hop (2011)
This rambunctious crossbreed of live action and animation requires you not to think too hard about, well, anything, but if you can go with its floppy-eared charms it’ll keep your blood sugar levels up for 90 minutes. It comes from the studio that gave us the Minions and it features the same secret sauce of silliness and pratfalls that kids will be powerless to resist. Russell Brand voices EB, the heir to the Easter bunny crown, who, to the chagrin of his dad (Hugh Laurie), heads to Hollywood to pursue his dream of becoming a drummer – the rascal. James Marsden plays his human pal and there’s a bonus appearance from the Hoff.
Mallrats (1995)
Oh, it’s not an Easter movie, you say? And the only reason it maybe qualifies is the scene of Jay and Silent Bob beating up a guy in a bunny costume? And furthermore, the humour in Kevin Smith’s sophomore feature is crass, goofy and juvenile, proving that Clerks may have been ’90s indie cinema’s ultimate freshman fluke? All fair points. But consider this: if you don’t find Jason Mewes kicking the crap out of the Easter Bunny hilarious, maybe you are the one who is the egg-licker.
Critters 2: The Main Course (1988)
The first Critters is a quintessential ’80s creature feature, a fun, winking nod to the B-movies of decades earlier, about vicious alien furballs terrorising a small American town. Unfortunately for our purposes, nothing in the original film has anything to do with Easter. That leaves us to recommend the inferior sequel – the first of four – which features a new batch of the razor-toothed hatchlings mistakenly included in a church egg hunt and massacring a poor sod in a bunny outfit. It’s definitely the highlight, though.