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‘I’d rather have a Chinese takeaway than a shag.’
‘Fuck it. I like having sex. I don’t want to go bowling.’
‘I’m the heir to a carpet dynasty.’
‘I would not pay £25 to eat pheasant.’
‘Gene Kelly is a fucking great dancer. He’s better than Fred Astaire.’
‘Streatham: where Gucci came to die.’
‘The bar was groaning under the weight of gammon.’
‘Ball sacks are getting a lot of airtime today.’
‘Humans are just inherently disappointing.’
‘Stop fat-shaming Santa.’
‘It’s true that he’s a psycho, but that’s what I like about him.’
‘I feel like egg-peeling at work is a faux pas.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few snippets from the past seven days – tweet us yours using #wordonthestreet and @timeoutlondon