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‘Oh yes, there are some ponds over there – but they are quite pathetic.’
‘Ah well, I guess I’ll just shit myself in the vineyard, then.’
‘For God’s sake, there’s nothing for us in Cockfosters!’
‘Ow! Your phone just hit me on the bollock.’
‘My armpits smell like barbecue crisps.’
‘Yes, that’s an oxymoron but a lot of farts are.’
‘I could never date someone who runs for the tube.’
‘If I moved to south London I might as well move out of London.’
‘Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?’
‘To beer or not to beer, that is the question.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – tweet us yours using #wordonthestreet and @timeoutlondon.