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‘I often fantasise about being a labrador in a middle-class family.’
‘I’m standing in front of a pub called “Fine Stouts & Ales”.’
‘Well, what are the perks of being a nun?’
‘I just don’t like dogs. I think they’ve got agendas.’
‘I thought your thigh gap was your vagina.’
‘It’s been a year since I had steak tartare.’
‘Did you tell her three inches was enough?’
‘I can’t have sex with someone who’s been on a scooter as an adult.’
‘Having avocado nipples doesn’t make you a feminist.’
‘I am a vegetarian, remember? I only eat fish in emergencies.’
‘I reviewed my bin on Tesco dot com because I love it so much – and ten people found it helpful!’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Like Word on the Street? We’ve now made a book of these little beauties! ‘Word on the Street: Ridiculous Things We’ve Overheard in London’ is out now, £6.99. To buy a copy, visit timeout.com/wotsbook.