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Without further ado, here's all the deeply strange stuff we've heard on the streets of London this week.
‘I’ve eaten crisps and now I need to fart.’
‘Do you know what depresses me? Shit pictures of avocado on toast.’
‘Anyway, enough about my bum.’
‘My “mmm” had nothing to do with the carrot.’
‘Forget butter, the cheese is the lubricant.’
‘What are your thoughts on french fancies?’
‘Silent discos are shit, aren’t they?’
‘If I go and have a poo, will I burn my toast?’
‘You don’t hear a lot about HGVs any more, do you?’
‘Right, I better check my emails before I have a nap.’
‘I’ve run out of both coffee and fucks to give.’
Heard something funny? Tweet us and let us know using #wordonthestreet and @timeoutlondon.
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