[title]
‘As you get older, you can’t trust farts.’
‘It’s a bit early for crack, isn’t it?’
‘That wasn’t a dad joke. It was a very serious question.’
‘To be honest, mate, what did you expect from a fetish night?’
‘I’m just going to quickly get a picture of the theatre or we’ll forget what we saw.’
‘If I stop eating avocados, my breasts will get smaller.’
‘I was in Gloucestershire… I was fine.’
‘It is a well known fact that vegans taste better.’
‘But if you put salt on a mollusc, surely it feels discomfort?’
‘I’d definitely be fine to eat a pigeon after Brexit. I’d roast it over a fire in the street.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Love London and all its weirdness? Sign up now to get the best of the city straight to your inbox, as often as you like.