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Remember when vagina cupcakes were all the rage? Well now, in the name of, er, equality, the male loin is getting the dessert treatment it deserves.
Zizi Factory in Covent Garden is, unsurprisingly, French and serves up waffles in the shape of men’s dangly bits. The phallic business was the brainchild of three friends, Adrien, Antoine and David, who saw a similar treat parlour in their homeland and wanted to bring the cheeky taste of Paris to the UK.
The freshly made willy waffles are thick and chewy, can be adorned with milk, white or pink chocolate, speculoos, rainbow vermicelli or triple choc balls, and come served on a stick. Oh and there’s also complementary chantilly cream flying around to emulate... use your imagination.
The Parisian patisserie has naturally turned a few heads on Neal Street, with the Instagram and TikTok crowds flocking to get their NSFW snaps. The brand has set the risque tone with captions on its social media feeds including, ‘Great food is like great sex, the more you have it, the more you want it’ and ‘It’s not about the size... it’s about the taste’.
Before anyone starts petitioning on behalf of the maligned vulva though, it’s worth noting that you can eat fanny waffles too if you feel that way inclined. They’re thinner, crispier, wider and missing a consistently overlooked piece of the female anatomy. Sigh.
The saucy desserts cost £7 each, which, granted, is steeper than a classic McFlurry. But if you’re looking for a way to up the tempo on a first date or fancy a permanent ban from organising office outings, the choice isn’t hard.
We’ll see ourselves out.
65 Neal St, WC2H 9PJ