The Bedroom Olympics

Ok, we're not entirely sure what will occur here, but the promoters are very keen on milking sex-related Olympics gags, promising a "head-to-head of the world's finest sexual athletes", amid events such as the pillow vault, tongue hockey, gym-nasty, spam javelin... You get the idea. Dodgy puns aside, we think what's more likely is that it'll be a night of deep disco, upfront house, electro-funk and boogie, from Justin Vandervolgen, Soft Rocks, Bill Brewster, Michael Cook and Frank Broughton, who all happen to be DJing. Bring your best sense of humour and an adventurous spirit to this one, just in case.