Football? Pah. Amateur hour. We'd love to see how the England squad hold up in a true test of physical and mental prowess. We are, of course, talking about chessboxing, that great meeting of, well, chess and boxing which requires contestants to pummel each other in the ring before attempting to KO each other using their brains.
Though still a niche sport it's actually pretty popular and should draw a big crowd tonight for a World Cup special. In honour of England's opening match against Italy, tonight's chessboxing bout will also be an England v Italy affair, with representatives from both countries going up against each other. To mix things up, there'll also be cabaret, DJs, food and drink served all night and a screening of the England v Italy football match over in Brazil, which kicks off at 11pm UK time.