Meet the Londoners who refuse to age gracefully

Stella Ralfini was 76 when she decided to have a crack at stand-up comedy. At first, performing as an older female comedian was ‘tough’: she worried she would forget her lines, or that people wouldn’t get her audacious jokes. Now, she takes her raucous one-woman show – which features gags about having a toyboy and being a dominatrix for pensioners – all over London, sometimes to audiences of up to 300 people. 

Ralfini isn’t the only Londoner trying new things later in life. Getting older can feel daunting, but for some, it’s an opportunity to grab existence by the horns, experiment and have a bit of fun. For Maurice Newman, Rachel Thompson and Ralfini, discovering new hobbies after 60 gave them fresh perspectives. They took up inline skating, dancing and stand-up comedy, respectively, proving that you don’t have to be a youngster to get out of your comfort zone. 

Here, these three bold Londoners share what they’ve learnt. 

Rachel Thompson, 71, dancer 

I started dancing when I was 63. I went to a workshop organised by Sadler’s Wells because I’ll have a go at anything. Unbeknownst to me, Sadler’s Wells was looking for people to join the Company of Elders [a performance group for non-professional dancers over 60]. 

I was riding the bus to my first rehearsal. A guy offered me his seat. I said, ‘No thank you, I’m a dancer. I’m going to Sadler’s Wells for a rehearsal!’

We have one life, what’s the point in shrinking away into a corner?

When I’m dancing I completely forget everything in that moment. I’ve had quite a hard few years being a carer for my mum and my husband, and it was like therapy to come and dance. It was the only time I completely switched off from that role. 

We danced with the hip hop company ZooNation Youth Company, who are all young people. The choreographer Chaldon Williams was used to working with these dynamic youngsters, and suddenly had to change everything. But he never lost his cool, and always kept a sense of humour.

I’m not very good at learning the steps, but I do like the creative part. I don’t always have the confidence to step out there and just do it, but working with young people gave me confidence. I get to be more myself, more outrageous. 

We were invited to perform in Tokyo. If I had been told in my 20s that I’d be dancing on Sadler’s Wells stage and performing in Japan when I retired, I probably wouldn’t have worried about the rest of my life.

People say old people just disappear into the background. That has its advantages in some ways. But to be recognised as somebody doing something artistic and exciting is such a thrill. We have one life, what’s the point in shrinking away into a corner?

I wish I’d known when I was younger that life only gets better. Getting older isn’t a life sentence; it’s something to celebrate, not fear.  

Maurice Newman, 80, roller skater

I started skating on my 60th birthday. I’m 80 now, and I still do it. There are a couple of [other] London skaters in their 70s. 

When I skate I feel free, it’s like being a child. I’ve never wanted to grow up. That’s why I’ve always been self-employed because it’s impossible to work full-time – I might disappear one day to go and run around or skate.

I have all sorts of ‘toys’ that I muck around with. I’ve got a unicycle; I bought it for my son when he was 14 but he left it at home when he went to university, so I learnt to ride it. 

I’ve done two 24-hour skates on the Le Mans race track. I did it in a team of eight with the London Skaters. Le Mans has a big hill, and you had to do it every lap, so that was a killer.  

London to Brighton was physically the hardest and most dangerous [skating] race I’ve done. If you fell, the cyclists would be really angry, because you’re not supposed to be there [as a skater].

I was the oldest skater at the Berlin Marathon. I’ve done that one 16 times. There are about 6,000 skaters from around the world doing the race. My quickest time was 1 hour 39 minutes when I was 73 or 74, which for my age group was pretty darn good. 

When I skate I feel free, it’s like being a child

I’d tell my 20-year-old self: don’t smoke. But at the end of the day it’s living. You can’t not do things [because you’re scared]. I don’t have regrets. I’m lucky that I’ve never stopped doing something [out of fear]. 

I’ve learned that nothing is impossible if you’re willing to take the risks. There is pain – I’ve broken most of my fingers ski racing, and mucked up my shoulder in the Berlin marathon. The bone was sticking out, but I got up and finished the race. I’m not afraid of being injured in a big way, there’s no limit.  

Stella Ralfini, 77, stand-up comedian

I originally started doing comedy to raise awareness for Dignity in Dying. It’s campaign for assisted dying. We’re always told the story that people only suffer and they don’t have a choice when it comes to dying with dignity. But I want to show young people that you do have a choice. I thought the best way to get through to them was comedy. 

I want to inspire people. I want people to look at me and think, here’s a woman having the best years of her life because she’s found a hobby that she’s passionate about. Comedy is the best tonic for everyone of every age. 

In the ’70s I was the Rolling Stones’ personal assistant. My rock ‘n’ roll spirit is still alive and now I’m transferring it into comedy. 

I still smoke cannabis. It helps me come up with the funniest material. My daughter and I often smoke and come up with material together. 

Sex and dating for older people is a big part of my comedy routine

My first gig was at the Comedy Store in Piccadilly Circus in 2023. It was quite tough. My biggest fear was that I was going to forget my words, but the audience was so great. If I did forget something I just went into a quick interaction with someone in the crowd and it took me back again. 

I ended up competing in the national competition ‘So You Think You’re Funny?’. I performed in front of 300 people and an agent approached me to book me on the comedy circuit, but I said no because I’m not doing this to make money. I just love being on the stage. 

I wish I knew when I was younger that it’s okay to have lots of different lovers. None of us ever admitted to having more than three lovers. Now, sex and dating for older people is a big part of my comedy routine. I’m also a Tantra teacher: tantric sex is a big thing I believe in, especially for older people. Penetration isn’t the Holy Grail, you know. 

Now, I’m not going to waste any years I’ve got left. I’m going to make life the adventure I wish I had made it when I was younger.