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Ah, the morning commute: that precious pre-work time we Londoners spend contemplating the day ahead as we ride smoothly through the city. Yeah, right – surviving the tube/bus ride is the bane of our existence, mainly thanks to our fellow commuters.
But perhaps with a little more consideration (or just some blatant shaming of bad behaviour) we can all live in harmony. That's the hope behind a series of 8-bit animations by Antonia Heslop, anyway. She's illustrated the 11 worst commuter behaviours to remind us all how not to be a dick on public transport. Are you guilty of any of them?
1. The food connoisseur
Antonio Heslop
You know – the one who stinks out the entire carriage with their three-course picnic of M&S snacks. They chow down loudly, spilling their sauces, licking fingers and not stopping until their entire vicinity is covered in crumbs.
2. The statue
There's no more hated refrain on the commute than: 'Can you please move down?' But then again, there's no more annoying commuter than the guy with room to swing a cat who stays still when you've got two suitcases rammed up against your feet and someone's shoulder blade digging into your face.
3. The leaner
This too-cool-for-school bus rider breezes on and seizes the nearest pole just in time to nonchalantly lean on the stop button when you need to press it. They're so zen they fail to notice and you're too British to give them a shove so you can get to it.
4. The hypochondriac
This precious soul just isn't built for the big commute and they're not afraid to reach for the emergency lever at the slightest hint of a dizzy spell. They'll bring you to a halt at the most inconvenient place possible and be sure to recover pretty much as soon as they've lifted their hand off the lever.
5. The raver
Guaranteed to stroll into your carriage just when you're getting to the best bit of your morning podcast, this surly teen loves the new Jason Derulo album and he really wants to share it with the whole carriage, even if it means risking a hearing impairment.
6. The litterer
It starts with them subtly slipping a dirty coffee cup on the shelf behind them. But then when they leave the carriage so do their inhibitions and they happily leave a string of litter in their wake. Bastard.
7. The halter
There's another Viccy line train in a minute but this keen commuter can't face the wait, even if there's definitely no space whatsoever left in the carriage. They won't stop until they've crammed their way in, even if it means getting their head jammed in the doors.
8. The backpacker
Yup, they're carrying the weight of a small child on their back and they will use it to shove you into submission.
9. The contortionist
The snake of the commuting world, this dude won't stop until he's barged his way to the one remaining seat on the bus, which is guaranteed to be right at the back.
10. The VIP
The pregnant, elderly and disabled don't stand a chance against this stiff-lipped commuter who knows every trick in the book for avoiding eye contact and blocking off his ears to pleading cries for a seat. This is his throne for the next five stops and no one shall usurp it.
11. The recliner
It might seem like we spend half our lives on London transport but this guy feels far too at home on his commute. He props his mud-caked feet on the opposite seat like he owns the place, leaving the next traveller to pay the price – and the dry-cleaning bill.