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You don’t need your own personal Q to kit yourself out like a spy. Here are some of the more incredible/worrying things available to wannabe 007s from London online spy service, SpyCatcher Online.
It’s just a normal briefcase, right? Sure it is. If your idea of a normal briefcase is one that can survive being riddled by a machine gun. Both sides are filled with body armour so that when the bullets start flying, you can open it with a quick release catch and use the fully-extended briefcase as a shield. Ideal for the paranoid accountant in your life.
£1,138
Rob Greig
For those moments when you have to write a post-it that’s undetectable by your enemies, there’s this pen using technology developed by Israeli security service Mossad. Once it’s written, use a hairdryer to heat the paper and the ink will disappear. How to make your message readable again? The recipient will need to chuck it in the freezer. Literally cool.
£30
Rob Greig
If you notice one of these appearing in your house: panic. It might look and work exactly as a normal cordless landline, but it contains a hidden GSM card which will send a text message alerting the phone’s owner as soon as you use it. They can then call the card to listen to every word you’re saying. Or, if they feel like it, they can covertly call at any point to listen to what’s going on in the room. Sometimes it’s not good to talk.
£320
Rob Greig
Okay: you’d need to be pretty daft to mistake this for a normal pen, given that it's about a foot in length. But hopefully you could at least convince someone that it was a sex toy you were hoping to pass off as a pen. However, the only sneaky penetration it’s actually intended for is industrial espionage. Run it over a sheet of A4 and it’ll scan the paper’s contents and save them internally, at a rate of one sheet of A4 every four seconds. Get home, plug it into your computer and voila: you have all of your business rivals’ secrets. Or you could just use it as a handheld scanner, I guess. Or a sex toy.
£354
Rob Greig
Talk about a spy novel. There are two pinholes inside the spine of this book: one records video, the other records audio. Stick it on your bookshelf and it’s almost undetectable, and it features an SD card that’ll store up to 64 hours of footage. Plus, it’s motion activated and can be set to wirelessly transmit footage to a monitoring device up to 300 metres away. Who said libraries were boring?
£510
Rob Greig
You know what this does? It writes. Twist the back and a nib comes out, meaning that ink can be applied to paper to form the words of your choice. Oh, and also, if you slide the little metal clip down, it starts covertly recording audio. Or, alternatively, its ‘sleep mode’ means that it can be left lying around, only to automatically start recording when anyone starts speaking near it. Like I said: just a normal pen.
£150
Rob Greig
All right, all right. This isn’t a cool look. It is, however, an essential for seeing in the dark. The night vision works by magnifying all available light, so do not, whatever you do, turn them on during daylight. Unless you enjoy feeling like someone’s set off a firework in your eyeballs, that is.
£950
The gloves you can make phone calls with
Rob Greig
These gloves secretly transmit a wireless signal that let you pair them with your mobile phone. When it rings, press a button on the wristband and then hold your thumb up to your ear. The hidden speaker will let you hear your call, while a covert mic on your little finger will let you talk. Very cool. Although possibly not the most covert – unless your cover story is pretending to be an escaped mental patient.
£49.99
Rob Greig
Nothing to see here: just a hungry guy who’s carrying a tin of beans around for lunch, right? Wrong. It’s actually a portable, camouflaged safe built into a genuine Heinz beans tin, with a base concealing a screw-in chamber to disguise valuables. Beanz meanz spiez.
£12
All products available from Spy Catcher Online.