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Avoid December’s cavalcade of buttock-clenchingly crap festive shindigs with some alternative and actually good ones instead.
A party for garage fans
London maestro Spooky heads up a strong line-up for the Brixton Grime & Garage Xmas Special on Thursday December 8 including Mike Skinner and Murkage Dave. You should know that Spooky dressed up in full Santa costume last year, so expectations are sky-high for 2016.
Brixton Jamm. Thu Dec 8
A party for ’20s lovers
The Candlelight Club has been mining all the best bits of 1920s Prohibition for a while now and this Christmas party promises live jazz around the Christmas tree from the Shirt Tail Stompers. Get dressed up but avoid chucking brandy around near all the candles.
Secret Location. Fri Dec 9.
Candlelight Club
A party for an ’80s lover
The Glory will deliver two nights of glorious ’80s mayhem with drag performances, cabaret acts and mass singalongs at their ’80s Xmas Special with guests Jayde Adams, the notorious Jonny Woo and legendary Lavinia Co-Op. You won’t need to travel far as the afterparty continues in the pub upstairs. with a Christmas Knees-Up and all-male erotic dance group.
The Glory. Dec 16-17
A party for ’90s lovers
The people behind retro party Hot Since 91 are rolling their karaoke machine and a Santa’s grotto-style photobooth into The Garage for Christmas Lituation. Dress in your finest ’90s threads, be ready to sing along to hip hop, R&B and pop gems and don’t forget to make the most of free fried chicken and candyfloss.
The Garage. Fri Dec 9.
A party for harmony lovers
‘We are wimmin and we sing’ is Deep Throat’s tagline – and you can’t really define this sprawling London alt.choir project any better than that. Ahead of releasing an album next year, this Christmas the choral crew will be running through soul and indie classics at this festive fundraiser.
St Barnabas Dalston Mission Hall. Sat Dec 10.
Deep Throat
A party for junglists
Like the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future, DJs Ragga Twins, Grooverider, Moose and Demolition will be digging deep into their crates for Jungle Fever – The Christmas Roadblock and covering all the eras of jungle from 1988.
Electric Brixton. Dec 17.
A party for Carnival lovers
A one-day carnival on the Prince of Wales’s heated terrace in Brixton. There’ll be three stages of Carnival sounds from those soca rhythm worshippers Jus Now and Kings HiFi. Plus dancers, a jerk barbecue, free braid bar and coconut cocktails. Just remember to put on a parka for the journey home.
Prince of Wales. Dec 17.
A party for techno fans
The Tupa Tupa Family Techno Christmas party shuns cliché tinsel garlands and Santa hats for techno DJs and the theme ‘psychedelic Christmas cartoons’. Yes.
The Shelter. Dec 23.
There's a ho-ho-whole load of other Christmas parties across London.