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A dozen London Instagrammers have tragically succumbed to seasonal virus wisteria hysteria.
The fragrant climbing purple flower lures its victims in with it's highly shareable appearance.
Shortly after uploading their wisteria photo, death is certain as their eyes simply cannot even.
Authorities recommend avoiding key areas such as Kensington, Richmond, Hampstead, and other areas you fortunately can't afford to live.
If you do encounter wisteria, quickly scuttle backwards like a frightened crab, shrieking the mantra "These flowers are just fancy wall dirt! A bin-bag is the place for these fetid petals!"
Friends don't let friends photograph wisteria. Even once is too many.
R.I.P everyone concerned.
Keep track of the latest victims at the hashtag #housesofldn_wisteria.
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