After brainwashing millions of Americans through the power of pure indulgence, then heading overseas to the Holy Land to adopt new recruits, it's time for the moment we've all been waiting for: the cheesecake cult initiation process:
Courtesy of Cheesecake Factory
Four months after landing in Israel, The Cheesecake Factory has reached the disorienting spaceship that is Dizengoff Center, and this Thursday, it's preparing to test the patience of all Tel Avivians, while they stand in line (aka swarm in mobs), fighting over which over-caloric, underwhelming cheesecake matches their current mood...yet another reason to get lost in Dizengoff Center.
Courtesy of Cheesecake Factory
The global Cheesecake Factory brand paved its way in 1972, and today the brand has more than 200 branches worldwide, including not one...not two...not three...but FOUR, count it FOUR branches in Israel.
On the occasion of the launch this Thursday, a pop-up Cheesecake Factory stand will be pumping artery-clogging heart attacks into the stomachs of hungry fiends and innocent passersby swept up in the mob mentality. The stand will be set up inside the "mall that started it all" until the end of February when the official store will finally open next to Zara (aka the hardest store to find in this f**cking place!).
Courtesy of Cheesecake Factory
As we all know how easy it is to maneuver Dizengoff's evil deathtrap labyrinth, I bid you all good luck in your endeavors to find it.