Although we love disproving the "Israelis are rude" stereotype–with counterarguments such as "you can't cut the line if there never was one to begin with" and "it's not neglectful service, the waitress is simply giving us time to rethink our menu choices"–let's face it, Tel Avivians can be assholes sometimes. Whether it's disobeying the 'rules' of the road or shoving the shuk virgin to the (dark) side because it's Friday afternoon and you slept in, you're dragging our good name through the dirt...or sand, same thing. Read over these absolute worst ways to act like an ass in the White City, then correct your behaviors before it's too late.
1. Biking the wrong way down the one-way bike lanes on Ibn Gvirol.
2. Paying your tip exclusively in agorot.
3. Pretending you don't speak English when a North American tourist asks for directions.
4. Tinder swiping under the table while literally on a Tinder date.
5. Showing up half an hour late for pretty much everything.
6. Throwing your trash in the street when there is a garbage can two feet to the left.
7. Drinking all the wine at those political lectures that reel you in with their "free unlimited wine" fallacies when there is clearly not enough to go around.
8. Running a political lecture and reeling people in with "free unlimited wine" when in reality the budget barely covers two bottles.
9. Feeding the last of your bamba crumbs to the pigeons at the beach, then getting up to leave (because they won't).
10. Riding, touching, looking at, or even thinking about hoverboards. Only douches ride hoverboards.
11. Talking through the entire movie at any Lev, Cinema City, or Outdoor cinema. A "loud whisper" is just as annoying as a scream.
12. Hiding the only office 'mazgan' (air-con) remote as a power move...in July!
13. Parking your very large car on the very narrow Montefiore sidewalk creating an obnoxious blockade against all pedestrians.
14. Honking your horn just for the hell of it (unless it's directed at hoverboarders...in that case, go right ahead).
15. Sitting spread eagle on the 18, 25, 125, 4, 104, 204, 61, or 161 bus during peak transit hours.
16. Trash-talking Florentinians.
17. Pounding back Goldstars on the Ayalon highway on Yom Kippur after convincing your observant friend to just join for a little bit at hour 23 of their fast.
18. Making your friends wait hangrily at any Tel Aviv restaurant as you capture the perfect photo for your Instagram account.
19. Ripping up the grass at any park out of boredom. What'd nature ever do to you?
20. Holding up the checkout line at Tiv Tam as you try to convince the cashier that the 3-for-12-shekel special on "exploding candies" chocolate bars is still running.
21. Holding up the checkout line at Tiv Tam because you are that cashier and seem to go through life at a snail's pace (traveling on the back of a tortoise).
22. Standing idly on the sliver of bike path that borders Gordon Beach. Do we bike on your walking path?
23. Dragging your friends out to any of the bars mentioned on this list.
24. Getting blackout drunk at someone else's going away party. Way to steal the spotlight, asshole.
25. Getting blackout drunk at your own going away party...why would you leave Tel Aviv, asshole?
26. And finally, complaining about how rude Israelis are. That's just plain rude.
Still an asshole? Here are 26 telltale signs you're not going to make it in Tel Aviv, one for every item on this list you abide by.