Despite its beautiful beaches, incredible coffee culture, and bluer than blue skies, Israel's hipster-nightlife-culture-food-vegan-dog capital is not for everyone. From ways of confrontation to 'waze' of transportation, some of the White City's 'quirks' can unravel even the best of us. So before committing to an overpriced studio off Rabin Square, see if these telltale signs you won't make it in TLV hold true.
1. You complain about the weird smell emanating from your water tank. (Wo)man up and buy an air freshener.
2. Every time you smoke, you go on and on about how much cheaper the weed is back in your home country. Too bad, so sad. Good things come in small packages...for higher prices.
3. Pickles make you cringe. Israelis love their sour side salads. Pucker up or bugger off.
4. You're not a people person. Can't handle the confrontation? Leave the room...and the bars, restaurants, Shuk, streets, coffee shops, and town.
5. You have a sand phobia. If you can't learn to ignore the nitty-gritties and become one with the stuff, then it's just not worth it.
6. You have fair skin. There's no SPF strong enough in the world for Casper the friendly ghost.
7. You still call street art "graffiti." The entirety of Florentin judges you.
8. You've yet to learn how to use the 'monit sheirut' after an entire month of living in the city. If you haven't braved the shared minibuses yet, you're never going to.
9. You're afraid to raise your voice. If you can't shout, then get out!
10. You're opposed to the idea of roommates. Well, there's always the street.
11. You can't quite wrap your head around the idea of eating hummus without baby carrot sticks. What even is a baby carrot stick? Go back to the States, I'm sure they know.
12. Not a walker? Guess you can always Netflix and chill until physicists (other than Rick Sanchez) crack the teleportation code.
13. You find coffee bitter. Sure, old habits die hard. But in Israel, caffeine-free energy levels die harder.
14. Can't take the 'harif' heat? Get out the kitchen.
15. You're not a natural born adventurer. Tel Aviv and the surrounding Gush Dan is filled with amazing activities for the entire family that you'll never discover unless you go out there and explore.
16. You're more of a winter person. The only subtle hints of winter in the White City are its name and the boots Israelis wear year round. Grab your Blundstones and head for the Great White North.
17. You aren't a culture buff. Tel Aviv is home to an incredible array of theaters, museums, galleries, music, and dance centers. They even have a "Culture Palace."
18. You're a pescetarian. Veggies are in abundance, beef's pretty deece, even pork is the poor man's meat here, but Atlantic salmon? Lox? Halibut? What sort of spoiled billionaire do you think you are? Donald Trump?
19. You still haven't learned how to eat Shawarma properly. Is that ketchup on your face? Shame on you.
20. You can't live without air conditioning. Offices are not all fans of centralized air. Acclimatize or relocate. On that note...
21. You complain about the weather. Yes, we have blazing hot summers...and springs...and falls. But we also have the most beautiful beach bums per capita.
22. You're a messy eater. With a national shortage of napkins, that residual Shawarma ketchup's never coming off.
23. You're not a fan of weddings. Clearly you haven't been to an Israeli wedding where "black tie optional" directly translates to "blue jeans mandatory."
24. You've held onto your red string bracelet. Hate to break it to you, but Tel Aviv ain't no extended Birthright.
25. You disdain bad service. It's 10% or bust here. Despite the absentminded wait staff, the mandatory tip is one thing they won't forget.
26. You're scared of the New Central Bus Station. Well, guess what? You've got to go there at least once...to train over to Ben Gurion Airport and catch the first flight out of here.
Sticking around? Check out The 10 unwritten rules all Tel Avivians need to know.