12 More things that fill Hongkongers with rage

Yes, we are aware that Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and Donnie Yen are local legends. But that doesn’t mean we all just come kung fu fighting straight out the womb. We’re also aware that most foreigners say this in a weird attempt to be humorous, but it’s just… not funny. Just like how we don’t immediately assume all white people have no rhythm and can’t dance, don’t pin outdated, low-key racist Asian stereotypes on us.

How hard is it and stick out your finger and press a single button when it’s right there next to you? It’s not rocket science. But no, we’ll all just stand in awkward silence in a tiny box and wait until the elevator’s automatic timer closes. Ridiculous.

Speaking of which, what about those assholes who couldn’t wait a few extra seconds to hold the door or elevator for people who are literally one step away? Where do you need to be that you couldn’t wait for a few more seconds? Are people’s lives at stake? No. You’re just a douche. And if people's lives are at stake? Fine, we retract our complaint. 

Your attempts to be the first on the train are just blocking people from exiting the carriage. And for what? Being first on the train won’t make the MTR move any faster. So have the decency to let people out first before shoving in. Just stand off to the side and give it a few seconds for people to get off. It’s really not that hard.

Yeah, we get it. You’re all best mates. Every breath is a gift. You all have to stick together to keep that top-quality banter going. But there’s really no need for the whole group to stand in a row and take up the whole pedestrian walkway. We can’t even speed-walk past your group without stepping out onto the actual road and endangering our own lives. Would it kill you to walk in pairs or even as a trio?

Yes, UV rays are harmful and we’d all like protection against dark spots, freckles, and skin cancer. But seriously, are umbrellas the best option? Hong Kong’s streets are already ridiculously packed and busy; there’s no need to add umbrellas to the equation and risk poking people’s eyes out. A good layer of SPF would serve you just as well.

Phone contracts, internet service, cable television, or gym memberships – it matters not because it’s almost impossible to cancel any subscription in Hong Kong. At least not without receiving a passive-aggressive speech on why it’s a great deal to keep the subscription or sales people trying to sign you up to yet another subscription. No, I don’t need five extra sim cards or a free beach towel!

Octopus Cards are ubiquitous in Hong Kong. So why does it still come as a surprise to some people when they reach the ticket barrier that they need their Octopus? Dozens of commuters behind you need to get to their offices, bro. Don’t wait till you’re at the barriers before you start rooting around in your bag; just have your wallets ready, thank you.

Whenever we hear there’s a typhoon coming, excitement builds for the off-chance of having a legitimate reason to sit at home all day. A T8 is already a rare occurrence, but really, does it always have to hit on Sunday? On a day we’re already off work? Not only have we missed out on a bonus holiday, we can't even enjoy our Sunday properly. At this point, we’re convinced the Li Ka Shing weather force field has some truth to it.

The time during a facial, hair cut, or manicure is sacred. It’s a special moment to relax, zone out, and enjoy some well-deserved down time. But this small mercy is ruined when shop assistants start pushing their products, giving whole spiels on why you need their moisturiser, when all you’re trying to do is disengage with the world for a couple of hours. How rude. 

Seriously, the Hong Kong government needs to eliminate the cent. What’s the point of them anymore? The majority of shops and restaurants refuse to accept cents, yet somehow they keep showing up in our wallets. While there are coin collection trucks that float around, they’re never there when you need one. Just let us get rid of these pesky coins already!

You know what we mean. Crowds. Crowds on crowds. With suitcases. ’Nuff said.