The 12 things that fill Hongkongers with rage

Despite the fact that about half of the Hong Kong population speaks fluent English, somehow, some foreigners have got it into their heads that this is how we greet each other. Is it because of the bow that monks and martial arts fighters always do in movies? Do they perhaps think that the Thai wai greeting also applies to Hong Kong? It is truly a mystery, but either way, please stop! Also, Hongkongers don’t say ‘ni hao’ – try again.

We’re flattered when people long to get to know us better, but we can’t quite reciprocate the feeling if all of a sudden we’re in close physical contact. Hongkongers value our personal space, be it while we’re queuing in the supermarket, on the MTR, in a restaurant, or elsewhere in this crowded city.

Hungry people are angry people. Don’t mess with them. While we love hanging out with our friends over a meal and excitedly chatting about the latest Netflix binge or the hottest office tea, we abhor those people who, when done with their food, remain forever at their table, pointedly ignoring the line of customers waiting to be seated.

When we queue for an ATM, we know what we want: either some money or to pay a bill. Others, however, seem to arrive at ATMs in a sort of fugue state, unable to recollect how they got there. They continually press different buttons for several minutes, achieving nothing, taking their sweet time and not their money. This behaviour is the incentive we need to move into a cashless society.

We’re looking at you lot, those inconsiderate people who lean their whole body on the poles in MTR carriages so no one else can grab them. These poles are meant for multiple passengers and not just for you, and if people start toppling over like bowling pins around you, it’s 100 percent your fault.

Property prices may have dipped slightly during the pandemic years, but overall, Hong Kong remains the second most expensive residential property market in the world, coming in just after Monaco. Remember that Mount Nicholson parking spot that was sold for a record-breaking $10.2 million in 2021? Need we say more?

Don’t think we don’t notice when waiters dip their nasty dirty digits into our drinks when they try to hold multiple cups in one hand. We didn’t order milk tea with extra human essence, thanks very much. 

You know who we’re talking about: those cretins who slow pedestrian traffic by plodding along with their trollies and taking up most of the pavement. Even worse are the ones who roll over your toes or brand-new shoes and are thoroughly unapologetic about it. What makes us remarkably pissed is not so much the act but the attitude.

We love our AC here in Hong Kong but we can absolutely do without the units that weep dirty water on us when we’re rushing about town. It’s actually illegal to have a unit that drips water onto the street but that doesn’t seem to prevent the problem. At least it’s not bird poo?

It might be when we get that Tinder message we’ve been dying for, or those unavoidable moments when Google Maps deceives us – either way, we’ve got our hands up and admit we’re guilty of this one sometimes too.