Because of the, er, tempête de merde surrounding the Washington Redskins, the appropriation of Native American imagery is a hot topic in American sports, right up there with the chronic cerebral-spinal damage of its players, the condonation of domestic abuse and sexual assault, the waning interest in televised baseball, and LeBron James's hairline. (Good luck with all that, sports.) Earlier this week at the United Center for a preseason game, I tried on Blackhawks hats in the gift shop. I pondered if sporting a cap with the traditional team logo would cause a stranger to think less of me. Look, I just want to protect my head from the sun and support my favorite hockey squad, not engage in a political debate with some rando who watches First Take and The Daily Show.
Here's the thing: Brands do not want us to think, they want us to consume. This is the reason that I believe, at some point, after the first domino falls with Washington in the NFL, other major franchises like Cleveland and Atlanta in the MLB and our hockey team will follow suit. (Though, really, Redskins owner Daniel Snyder is one of the few remaining cement dominos that refuses to fall. Academic institutions have been ditching "Indians" nicknames for years.) A Native American team name is not as innocuous as some animal—leaving Morrissey out of the debate, at least. While commercial consideration is not as good a reason to force institutional change as moral consideration, it is just as real a reason.
Yet, the Blackhawks do not need to change their name so much as their imagery. Here are some options.
1) A black hawk
A black hawk is a living thing in the animal kingdom, Buteogallus anthracites. (How about that on the front of a jersey?) Unlike the avian rich NFL, there is a surprising lack of birds of prey in the NHL, only cute penguins and ducks, unless you count the Red Wings. Considering they are a flying tire, I do not.
2) A Doughhboy
Some defenders of the Blackhawks name point out that original Blackhawks owner Frederic McLaughlin chose the nickname to honor his Army unit in WWI, the 86th Infantry Division. That is true, though they appropriated the name from Chief Black Hawk of the Sac nation. Still, the team could go with a throwback American soldier theme, akin to the Bluejacket's Civil War regalia (minus the dumb bug). The 86th's insignia would look cool on a hockey sweater.
3) A helicopter
Keeping with the military theme, the Sikorsky Black Hawk chopper has been in service since the late '70s. Considering the U.S.'s only Naval boot camp is located on our North Shore, military could be a nice way to go. The one problem I see is that there is no great way to turn a helicopter into an exciting logo.
4) The Black Sox
Yes, the team wears red socks, and the conjuring the scandalous Black Sox of 1919 might not be the savviest move for an organization, but this rhyme does roll off the tongue in the same way as "Blackhawks" and play off another local team, much as the Cubs and Bears do. The team could go back to these badass murdered-out threads from 1926-28.
In the end, that is what truly matters to me as a fan: the aesthetics. The Blackhawks have one of the best designed uniforms in the NHL, if not sports as a whole. Keep the look—and Toews and Kane inside it—and I don't care what you call them or slap on their chest.
The Blackhawks season begins Oct 9 against Dallas. Check out our list of the 10 coolest Blackhawks ever.