Ted's Place

When asked if he's the bar's namesake, the grizzled barkeep with the gray beard and ponytail might arch a brow and mutter, in a thick Polish accent, "Depends on who's asking." He'll warm up eventually, as will the drinkers bellied up to the Formica bar laughing at Polish TV shows. They're likely the authors of many "clever" signs, including this gem: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd like to put my penis in you."