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15 non-essential items to keep in your earthquake survival kit

Wait, this thing doesn't come with artisanal small-batch coffee?!
Photograph: Global X/FlickrWait, this thing doesn't come with artisanal small-batch coffee?!
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Earthquakes are an inevitable fact of life here in San Francisco. And even though most of us don't, we should all keep at least one well-maintained disaster survival kit in our homes, cars and even at work. Obviously (and helpfully), survival kits contain must-have items in the event of a disaster, like first aid supplies, transistor radios and packets of fresh water. But in the event of an earthquake, certain San Franciscans might need a few extra, non-essential comforts. Just because there's a giant earthquake doesn't mean we need to rough it, right? Here's our list of non-essential items we keep with our earthquake kit. What's in yours?

1. Instant coffee isn't exactly Blue Bottle, but we'll still need that kick of caffeine. 

2. A hoodie. Every San Franciscans knows to dress in layers, even in an emergency. 

3. Extra iPhone batteries so you can upload your beautifully composed rubble photos to Instagram. #SFearthquake

4. Emergency marijuana.

5. A copy of your rental agreement. Even an act of God/Mother Nature/whatever deity you're into cannot compete with your right to rent control. 

6. Earplugs for daily meditation.

7. A Clipper Card, just in case Muni actually works for once. 

8. An ironic t-shirt from your Outside Lands days that says in big, block letters, "Got any fries with that shake?"

9. Beard oil and related male toiletries. 

10. Jenga and/or a hacky sack to pass the time while WiFi is down. Don't lie, we know you have 'em.

11. Emergency chocolate, duh.

12. A copy of McSweeny's Quarterly. 

13. Pink Himalayan salt because we're not savages. 

14. Fujifiilm Instax Mini 8 camera to instantly print our #SFearthquake selfies. 

15. Locally-made vodka (you know, for sterilizing.)

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