RECOMMENDED: Full coverage of the Air Sex World Championships
Taylor Thompson, 22, Austin
Stage name: Slut-Truffle
Signature move: "The hair pull. Rather, my hair getting pulled by my imaginary partner."
How is air sex better than real sex? "You can get down and dirty, act out fantasies and be turned on—all while being watched by a cheering, sold-out auditorium."
Is there such a thing as bad air sex? "Yes! Real-sex amateurs and drunk people produce most of the worst—and ironically, some of the best—air-sex performances. Your sexin' has to tell a story."
Can air sex improve actual sex? "Yes. The audience always leaves inspired to go home and do it. The first time I saw 'the Shocker'performed in all its glory, the crowd erupted!"
Patrick David Jones, 25, Austin
Stage name: Coyote Morning; though mulling a change to Bjorn-to-Bang
Signature move: "I'm a fan of 'the Houdini'and 'the Angry Dragon.'"
How is air sex better than real sex? "You can don a leather gimp outfit and tie each other down with air knots to your heart's content."
Is there such a thing as bad air sex? "The people who get up there and dance sensually are the epitome of bad air sex. I'm not sure if they read the title, but it's air sex, not air dance."
Can air sex improve actual sex? "When you compete, you bring those dark secrets out of your mind, and magic can be made. My girlfriend will attest to that."
Dustin Diaz, 28, Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn
Stage name: Dirty D
Signature move: 'The Dirty D Pile Driver'
How is air sex better than real sex? "It's STD free! You don't have to buy any dong bags and you don't have to feel like a douche for not saying goodbye."
Is there such a thing as bad air sex? "Yes. You don't want to prematurely ejaculate during air sex."
Can air sex improve actual sex? "Absolutely. You do some air grinding, and the next thing you know, you have five new friend requests on Facebook."
DO IT! "The Air Sex Championships": Highline Ballroom, 431 W 16th St between Ninth and Tenth Aves (212-414-5994, airsexworldchampionships.com). Preregister by e-mailing Chris Trew at airsexworldchampionships.com. Fri 12 at 9pm, $15.