Let’s talk about sex, baby, with the hosts of Guys We Fucked

NYC comedians Krystyna Hutchinson and Corinne Fisher put sex positivity in the spotlight on their anti–slut-shaming podcast, Guys We Fucked, for which they interview people they’ve slept with. This year, they’re taking the podcast on the road with an interactive comedy tour. They talked with us about butt stuff, feminism and toxic masculinity ahead of their upcoming comedy shows.

What are you up to on the comedy scene?
Krystyna Hutchinson: We’re doing test shows for the Guys We Fucked live tour in May, June and July, and then we’re going on the road. It’s not the podcast live at all; it’s an actual interactive experience that can be enjoyed by fans and nonfans, because you certainly want a show that speaks to the fans, but something that’s only for the fans is not good because then you’ll feel lost and confused if you don’t know every little nook and cranny of the podcast. We’re also doing stand-up and a lot of audience interactive things, including giving advice.

Why did you want to take the podcast on the road?
KH: Straight up, I’m not a huge fan of sitting down and doing the podcast. You can listen to that. If we go to the trouble of getting on a plane and going somewhere, we want to do something active. We’re both performers so we wanted to do something that made the fans feel really included. The thing about the podcast that gets people really into it is they feel like it speaks to them, they feel like they’re a part of it, they feel like they know us. So we wanted to get them involved, talk to them in person and make it more of an experience instead of, Shut up and sit down while we talk and make jokes.
Corinne Fisher: There’s a lot of portions of our live show where we bring audience members up on stage and interact with them and give them the experience of being on the podcast. It’s very cool because what happens in that room stays in that room—we try not to have anybody videotape anything. The night can be funny but also very beautiful and meaningful.

Is the night supposed to be an extension of a safe space for everybody?
KH: Yeah, but we make fun of everybody including ourselves and we make fun of the audience if they’re being too sensitive. It’s a safe space, but also it’s kind of a party or a sleepover with us.
CF: It’s a lot like the reason why women go to gay clubs—you can be yourself. There was a girl on stage who came up and said she had just had a double mastectomy, because she has breast cancer. It was great and we were interested in her story, but we also made fun of her. A lot of these listeners are fans of the podcast but not necessarily of comedy, so we are trying to make them fans of stand-up comedy and also learn that it’s okay if something makes you feel weird or offended.

I think the idea of interviewing your exes publicly would be terrifying for anyone. Was it scary at first or were you able to talk about sex in public without any issues?
CF: Talking about sex was never a problem. When it’s personal, it’s a little nerve-racking when you’re talking about things that are currently happening. Things in the past I never give a shit about. The exes I would have been nervous to interview have either said no or haven’t been on yet, and it’s because they feel the same way, obviously.
KH: The first ex that I interviewed, a guy named Nico in the second episode, I was really nervous for that in an exciting way, because I talked to him on the phone but I hadn’t seen him in about three years, and the first time I saw him physically in person was when he went to sit down on the microphone. We wanted to make it authentic—Corinne and I often won’t talk or tell each other something that happened over the weekend before we sit down to record, we’ll just say it on the podcast, so it’s a very genuine reaction that we give. The first press article that came out terrified me a little bit, because I was like: “Everybody is going to hear me talk about sex. This is very personal.” But then I just said to myself, “Get over it. It’s a good thing and people like hearing it and it helps other people.”

Krystyna, you even had your boyfriend’s famous ex on.
KH: We’ve had two of his exes on. The most recent of his exes was a porn star [named Stoya] that I talked about all the time on the podcast. I was very nervous, just because she had made me feel very fem-emasculated, and the only way I could get over that was to humanize her, but I was so nervous about what was going to happen and how I was going to feel. But I’m so glad we did it. I really got to know her, and she came down from that huge pedestal I put her on. She’s just a person like everybody else. She has bad days and good days and similar problems to other people.

How much harassment do you deal with?
CF: I mean there’s tons of trolls and sometimes our fans are trolls. Sometimes I joke that I feel like Selena. It’s very easy to say whatever you want on the internet because you’re like an orb. No one knows anything about you, and you can say whatever the fuck you want with no repercussions. I put up a photo the other day and someone who listens to the podcast and “loves me” goes, ‘Oh wow, you’re not as good looking as I thought you’d be.’ A girl!
KH: She was like ‘Maybe you should get bangs.’
CF: I was like, what the fuck is that?
KH: Shut the fuck up!
CF: What I hate and what upsets me, not because it hurts my feelings but because I feel like they are missing the point of the podcast entirely, is when people who like the podcast, especially women—because I do hold women to a higher standard and I do expect more from them—when they comment on our looks, and it’s like, are you fucking kidding me? Is the show falling upon deaf ears? Why am I sitting here every week recording this for an hour? It’s so upsetting. Or like when we talk about the Kardashians and everyone is like, Fuck those stupid whores! Why are you listening to an anti-slut shaming podcast? If you don’t like somebody, especially someone like the Kardashians, they’re not going and building walls to keep out immigrants—they’re fucking taking pictures of their butts and making lipstick.

What do you think it would actually take for us to reverse our sexual attitudes about men and women?
KH: On a larger scale, it starts with male/female relations and female/female relations. This whole thing where we think that we owe men our bodies comes from the fact that we almost value men’s opinions about us more than we value our opinions of ourselves or other women’s opinions about us. The most important opinion should obviously be the one you have of yourself. The message of feminism and thinking positively about yourself is out there and Meghan Trainor is dancing and being like, Look, I’m two pounds overweight and I’m dancing! So it’s out there but it’s very surface. I don’t think we’ve digested and it and it hasn’t become part of our daily lives. So it’s being really aware of that and truly trying to be kind and respectful to other women just because they are other women. Feminism is something that’s screen-printed on a shirt at Forever 21. We’re not truly understanding it and supporting each other yet. So we have to do it. Less talking about it and more doing it.
CF: I think loving yourself is probably the first step because a lot of time people say nasty things, because they’re insecure. So if you can fix that first, before you get in a relationship, before you make comments about people’s actions, you’ll see you’ll start to live a much better life. Less stressful, you have more fun, you have more meaningful relationships sexually and otherwise. [whispering] It starts within.

You had Amber Rose on just as the whole “finger in the booty” Twitter comment about Kanye West exploded. It blew my mind that he felt he had to publicly deny the sex act.
CF: He’s so homophobic.
KH: We asked Amber on the podcast, “Have you ever stuck your finger in a guy’s ass?” And she said no, because she didn’t want to put anybody out! I’m sure her finger was in his ass many times, but she probably knew that he didn’t want it out there. So she was being nice, and then he fucking blew it, but I was like, Thank you PR gods, for that timing.

What would you say to men to get them to let go of that masculinity bullshit?
KH: Be more open. Learn to let go and seek pleasure in your body. If someone thinks you’re homosexual because a girl put a finger up your butt, they’re stupid!
CF: You’re not gay if a woman puts a finger in your butt, you’re gay if you get a penis in your butt.
KH: But even if a penis is in your butt, are you gay? Maybe you just want to try it?

And what’s wrong with being gay?
KH: And why do you care what other people think?
CF: It’s about homosexuality being considered something that’s negative or different.
KH: And not masculine. I feel like guys want to protect their masculinity so much, and it’s silly. If you think about it, two guys going at it and trying to fuck each other with two dicks in the air—that’s masculine.

If you could give New Yorkers one piece of dating advice, what would it be?
KH: Make sure you love yourself first before you start dating, because you’re just going to bring your issues to the table at some point. Work out your own issues as much as you can on your own—with a therapist, with friends—because then you can be the best you and you can attract the best partner that’s right for you. If you’re going out with all these emotional issues you’ve been carrying around your shoulders forever, then you’re going to attract somebody with a similar situation, most likely, and then it’s going to explode in your face.
CF: My initial response would be don’t do it. I would say not to manically date. I see a lot of people open a Tinder account or go to some bar and be like, I have to find someone! And they are setting all these time crunches, like by this date I have to do this. You don’t have to do anything, there’s not supposed to be a timeline for your relationship or your love life. It’s nice to be proactive and go out and find someone and put yourself out there when you’re ready, but if it seems like it’s not working out it’s okay to put it away for a second and maybe go back to yourself and get out there again later. Just don’t go through a million people, because then you’re going to drive yourself crazy.

Guys We F**ked is at the Bell House Friday, May 20 and Subculture Monday, May 23 at 8pm.