The L train is about to ruin your life even more than usual

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND GOOD IN THIS WORLD IF THERE IS EVEN ANYTHING LEFT, did you know the L train is about to ruin your life for a few months? If you thought spring was going to warm and renew your tortured soul, you were wrong. Starting March 24, the L train is set to undergo WEEKS and MONTHS of planned weekday and weekend shutdowns, with absolutely no service between Bedford Avenue and 8th Avenue. 

From March 24th to May 22 (NINE WEEKS, OMG) there will be no borough-to-borough service on weeknights (12am-5am), and from April 11 to May 18 (NO, STOP, KILL ME NOW) you'll get six straight weekends (from midnight Friday to 5am Monday) of closures, Brokelyn reports. 

Do you live in Brooklyn or Manhattan, but work or play in your neighboring borough? Do you work a service industry job with odd hours? Do you like to go out at night because you live in New York? WELL THE MTA DOES NOT REALLY CARE. Luckily, I happen to live near the JMZ train, but I bet a whole lot of you will be spending lots of money on cabs during these hellish months. 

As always, there is a gorgeous silver lining to this news: You have the perfect excuse to stay home. Forever.