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  • Sex & Dating
    Time Out New York / Issue 672 : Aug 13–19, 2008

    A girl walks into a bar...alone

    A writer gets over her fear of flying solo.

    By Flannery Hoard

    Ladies, have you ever wondered why so many of your male friends have a neighborhood bar they call their “spot,” while the only spot you’ve got starts with a G and has a precise location that remains somewhat elusive? Well, I have. So I decided that if guys can go out alone, so can I. Two weeks, five bars and a lot of solo searching later, I found that a girl’s night out is more fun than fearsome.

    My first stop—after several aborted attempts—was the bar at Odessa (119 Ave A between St. Marks Pl and E 7th St, 212-253-1470). I ordered a beer and some food (so I’d have somewhere to look while I drank) and eventually started talking to the bartender, Ziggy. He introduced me to a few regulars who were friendly and talkative. I got stuck listening to one man’s personal woes, but I paid for only one beer all night. Next up was a restaurant bar: Rue B (188 Ave B between 11th and 12th Sts, 212-358-1700). It was a rainy Monday so the crowd was sparse, and I came to the conclusion that if you’re looking for anything more than a meal, restaurants are not the way to go. Only one other person was there alone, and he seemed pretty invested in his book. At least I made it home in time for Weeds.

    The Corner Bistro (311 W 4th St at Jane St, 212-242-9502) was a better place for friendly chitchat. It was packed, but I lucked into the last stool at the bar next to another girl who was also alone. After ten minutes, during which I at last understood what guys must go through every time they try to hit on a girl, I finally got up the nerve to strike up a conversation with her. We spent the next hour talking about her job as a cook at The Spotted Pig and debating the numbing effects of whiskey with the bartender.

    The Lower East Side proved more perilous: I made the mistake of heading there on a Thursday to catch a band playing at Pianos (158 Ludlow St between Rivington and Stanton Sts; 212-505-3733, pianosnyc.com). Beer in hand and standing alone in a sea of hipster girls, I spotted a guy looking my way. His too-tight gray shirt screamed, “I think I’m hot and so should you,” and his shoulder-length blond hair was blown out more fastidiously than mine. Bouncing along to the music, he turned toward me and proceeded to engage in some sort of mating dance that was equal parts Animal Planet and Saturday Night Live. I was frightened, so I ran away and wedged myself into a spot at the bar. My last stop was Nancy Whiskey Pub (1 Lispenard St at Sixth Ave; 212-226-9943, nancywhiskeypubcom). Old and divey, this is probably one of the only bars in Manhattan where the (straight) guy-to-girl ratio is always about 15 to 1. The guys were lined up for a shuffleboard tournament. Budweiser was on special for $2.50 and I was quickly engaged in a conversation about the Euro Cup with Liam, an Irish lad who works in construction. I understood only about every third word he said, but he was very clear about wanting to buy me a beer every time he bought himself one. When Liam’s friend showed up and wanted to buy a round of Jamesons for everyone, I had to call it quits. I stumbled out of the bar only $5 lighter but drunk enough to have walked three blocks in the wrong direction. I’d call that a success! It seems you don’t have to belong to the old boys’ club to go out alone after all. Just be sure to avoid Pianos on Thursdays.

    Need a Julia fix? Go to timeoutnewyork.com


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    • 49895 Lena Mon, Nov 10, at 06:11pm
      Dee, I disagree with you so wholeheartedly...I don't ever cross-breed with men who are capable of feeling like they are " being taken advantage of" if a girl doesn't buy THEM a drink in return yet does not open her legs. LOL. So sad....

      Flag as inappropriate


    • 49558 Dee Wed, Oct 29, at 03:38pm
      Buying a girl a drink is a nice way of saying, "Hey I'd like to get to know you." Any girl who accepts the offered drink without a willingness to either A- buy the next round or B- get to know the guy, is a rude and selfish person. And to think women wonder where all the good guys are... Anyone who considers getting free drinks from people they know they're uninterested in a successful night is not what I'd consider fearful of going out alone. I'd consider it manipulative and cruel.

      Flag as inappropriate


    • 43141 Tracy Mon, Sep 22, at 08:50pm
      this is an inspiring article. Thank you.

      Flag as inappropriate


    • 40441 Simplenigma Fri, Sep 12, at 09:26pm
      @ Dee & Chad: How is it leading a guy on if you're in a bar by yourself and he wants to buy you a drink. A dude who buys a girl a drink then thinks that automatically earns him an "in" is an arse. I've always debated going to a bar by myself, but I never get up the courage. Too many questions: where will I look? Who will I talk to? What if no one talks to me? I'm way too shy to just go into a regular bar. A dance party's a different story.

      Flag as inappropriate


    • 36211 Gamal Thu, Aug 28, at 03:02pm
      What made you stay in the LES? I think you would have had a much more varied experience if you went to different neighborhoods. The midtown guys might have been easier to understand, the Village kids might have been more interesting to watch and the Chelsea boys might have adopted you. You might want to branch out next time... Have fun. Gamal www.newyorknightsonline.com

      Flag as inappropriate


    • 35901 chad Wed, Aug 27, at 01:02pm
      Agree with Dee - if you're not looking for anything, you've got to buy a round somewhere down the line...

      Flag as inappropriate


    • 34351 Dee Thu, Aug 21, at 01:49pm
      This article should be called "How to lead guys on and drink for free"

      Flag as inappropriate


    • 31451 Liv Thu, Aug 14, at 10:39pm
      Flannery! You need your own column!

      Flag as inappropriate



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