Photograph: David Malosh

Dear Old Schooler: As a young flirtatious girl, I never had a problem finding dates. As a slightly older flirtatious girl, I have joined the ranks of the single professional women pushing 40 who aren’t having dating success. I fear my age scares people off. Should I lie about my age? I am told by many that I look about ten years younger.
—Margaret, 39, Brooklyn

Marilyn Booker, 67, Manhattan
Men at 40 are looking at 20-year-olds. You should really try to seek out an older man, someone conservative. Stop looking so hard, and don’t be willing to sell yourself short. Take your time. Relax. And also, go where guys hang out! Go to, like, Home Depot, the Wall Street area. Go fishing. Play golf! Embrace yourself, and treat yourself well. I had a boyfriend come over, and I had on some Victoria’s Secret. He said, “You dress so lovely for me.” I said, “It’s partly for you, but it’s mainly for me. It makes me feel good.”

Do not lie, because lies catch up with you. You look the best you can for the age you are. If I could live and be one age all my life, it would be 40 or 42. I found at 42 that I had matured, my children were grown, and I knew what I was doing. Actually, every age I was, I liked. I’m 67 and I don’t care. I’m just so happy to have lived this long! I try to be the best I can for whatever age I am. I’m not dyeing my hair. I’m natural. Here I am.

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