As part of an upcoming story, the Time Out Los Angeles staff has spent the past few weeks ordering lattes, espressos, cold brew and mugs of black coffee at some of the best coffee shops in LA. We're a little wired, but it's also very clear that coffee culture in this city is alive, kickin', and only getting better. When it was announced that Dunkin' Donuts would be coming to Santa Monica on September 2 (this Tuesday!)—one of the first of a projected 1,000 locations to sprout up in California (150 to 200 are scheduled to be in operation by the end of 2020)—many scoffed at the news, saying it will never last given our mom-and-pop donut shop culture.
I couldn't be more excited.
I spent part of my childhood in New Hampshire and went to college in Boston, so I am all too familiar with that neon pink and orange sign that signifies mediocre donuts and sugar-drenched coffee. I know what people say about the donuts—that they're over-processed, that the donut holes are nothing to write home about—and it's true. I don't go for the donuts; I go for the coffee. But that, too, makes zero sense: The coffee is dank and, when ordered "regular" (with cream and sugar), resembles something closer to a room temperature Frappuccino, a drink that teenagers order so that they can call themselves coffee drinkers (see also: Coolattas). So is it good? No. But that doesn't really matter.
I love Dunkin' Donuts because it reminds me of the East Coast, which is exactly (in my opinion) where I predict most of the people who'll line up in the wee hours for the Tuesday opening are going to be from (doors open at 5am, and there's an incentive for getting there early: the first person in line will win free coffee for a year, and the first 100 in line will receive a tote bag filled with DD goodies). I love it because I can drink a regular without taking myself too seriously; because it's a match for my insatiable sweet tooth; and because when you bring in a carton of Munchkins to the office, everyone is like, "Dammit, I'm trying not to eat so much junk food," and then you turn around and half the donut holes are gone and your co-workers look sick with regret. Also, can we talk about how this is going to cut down on the amount of bullshit we hear from our East Coast friends about why their side of the country is the best? The next time they say, "You may live in perpetual sunshine, but at least we have Dunkin'," you can reply with a "Guess what, sucker. So do we. And it's twelve blocks from the beach." Sure, there are still a few spots we wish would move to LA, but Dunkin' Donuts is a great place to start.
Living in LA has made me a little soft, though. On a recent trip back East, I wasn't in Massachusetts for more than an hour before I pulled over to a Dunkin'. I ordered three coffees—my parents were in tow—and was about to pay when the cashier barked, "How ah they?"
"What?"
"How ah they?"
How was I supposed to know how the coffee was? I hadn't taken a sip yet. She stared me down for what seemed like full-on minutes until my dad nudged me. "I think she means, 'How do you want them?'"
"Oh. Oh. Regular. Please."
I may miss Dunkin', but I don't feel any nostalgia for that accent.
Update: Santa Monica now runs on Dunkin'. Read our post from the shop's opening day here.
The first (!) Dunkin' Donuts in LA will be located at 1132 Wilshire Boulevard, and will open at 5am on Sept 2. Attendees can enjoy free samples, photo ops with Cuppy and Sprinkles (Dunkin' Donuts' mascots) and a ribbon-cutting ceremony at 10am.