Dog owners throughout the world tend to have the same conversations, but based on where you live, those conversations can mean different things. Below, I have created a user-friendly guide for the next time you’re taking a stroll with your pup around Echo Park Lake, letting him or her run around off-leash at Runyon Canyon or somehow arrive at one of those weird French bulldog meet-ups and wind up in an awkward back-and-forth with another ‘dog parent.’
“My dog is friendly.”
Just like in any city or town, this means that the dog is OK to mingle with another dog without fear of a death clash you’d see between two lions squaring off on a Discovery Channel special. However, in LA, just realize that even though the dog may be friendly, there’s a good chance the owner may not.
“What kind of mix is your dog?”
What the person asking really means:
Pit bull and...
Pit bull and...
Pit bull and...
“Is your dog a rescue?”
What the person asking really means:
Damn-well better be.
“Did you adopt?”
Similar to the previous question, but just realize the answer is always ‘yes’ – unless, of course, it's a bulldog, golden retriever or some sort of poodle created in a test tube. It's true - California is pretty progressive.
“I can’t stand small, yappy dogs.”
What the person asking really means:
I can't stand 87% of the dogs in LA.
“Dogs are just like children.”
Really? When was the last time you left your kid alone for 9-hours during the day without being able to use the bathroom? Also, not sure on the LA translation, but this is possibly the best way to get under the skin of people who are actually parents.
“He’s just doing that to try and act dominant.”
What the person asking really means:
My dog is like a person - from New York.
“Is your apartment complex pet-friendly?”
What the person asking really means:
Does the apartment complex actually accept pets, or did you use the old ‘service animal’ excuse? Oh, and what kind of dog did you claim your Pit bull was? Boxer. Probably boxer.
“Do you take your dog on hikes?”
What the person asking really means:
Would you like to go on a date?