It's officially spring and wedding season is well underway. Weddings are the best. You get to celebrate people you (hopefully) like, while wearing fancy attire, while drinking booze and dancing with friends and strangers alike. However, when you're single, weddings may also shine a really freaking bright light on just how alone you are.
1. The engagement. These days it begins with social media before you even get a text or—goodness forbid—a phone call from your friend about the recent engagement. You innocently open up Instagram and BAM! There's a huge diamond ring in your face. You double tap with one hand while pouring a glass of wine with the other, leave a congratulatory comment and mass text your friends to comment on the ring/manicure/future life-mate of your friend.
2. The invitation. Will you get a plus one? If you don't, how rude! Sure, you're single now but what if you meet the love of your life a month before the wedding?! If you do, who the heck will you take? Asking someone in advance is risky if you're not in a serious relationship. Basically, it's a lose-lose situation.
3. The bachelorette party. This is an element of wedding season you get to really enjoy. While your engaged friend sports a sash and veil in public in the name of marriage, loyalty and commitment, you get to flirt with hot guys. Amen, sister.
4. The dress. Whatever will you wear? If you're not in the wedding, you have to find something that's appropriate for wedding season and won't outshine the bride (ugh). If you are in the wedding you have to shell out a pretty penny on a dress you'll probably only wear once (cool!).
5. The ceremony. This is the special part of the night when the bride and groom vow to be really wonderful to each other forever, until literal death, while you sit and wonder if you'll ever even go on another date before YOU die.
6. The reception. First, you have to find out where you're sitting. Will you be with other fun singles? Will you be at the kiddie table? One time, I was seated with all of the elders including mostly 90-year-olds who left before dinner was served, which meant I was left to eat alone... a nice foreshadowing of my future.
7. The questions. "Are you seeing anyone?" "Have you met your Prince Charming yet?" "Are you looking forward to dying alone, covered in cat hair?"
8. The bouquet toss. This is usually when I hide and some wicked witch finds me by the bar and pushes me onto the dance floor to fend for myself in the name of love. There's the group of girls with boyfriends that want to get engaged and desperately push to the front like animals. There are the divorcees lurking in the back, scowling at the concept of marriage. Then there are the optimistic little girls who haven't had their hearts crushed yet, dancing around the crowd and hoping to catch some flowers. Pro tip: just smile and duck.
9. The hashtag. A fun thing couples have started doing since the dawn of social media is creating a wedding hashtag. If you're lucky, you can follow along with the entire planning process with something like #FutureMrsSmith, and then on the big day you can post all the selfies you want with the couples' special hashtag! Meanwhile you're like, #stillsingle.
Is that love in the air, or is it just lingering dust from last week's Santa Ana? Check out 3 LA dating spots to treat your spring dating fever and why dating just isn't that easy in LA (but it sure as hell beats dating in New York).