Valley of Love

Gérard Depardieu and Isabelle Huppert go meta in Guillaume Nicloux’s ‘Valley of Love’. The two legendary French actors play two legendary French actors called Gérard and Isabelle on a visit to oven-hot Death Valley. The Gérard and Isabelle of the movie are divorced, have been for years, and meet to carry out the last wishes of their son who recently committed suicide. Before his death he sent both parents a mysterious letter promising to appear in the Californian desert.

The film goes vaguely supernatural near the end, but not much happens otherwise. The fish-out-of water moments are great fun, watching arthouse gods Depardieu and Huppert in tacky tourist hell. ‘Sooo, who’s more famous in France,’ asks an American woman who’s recognised them from the movies. Isabelle’s withering French glare is priceless. Asked for his autograph, Gérard signs ‘Bob DeNiro’.

Best of all is the sight of the mighty Depardieu (who in real-life says he can drink ‘12, 13, 14 bottles of wine a day’) wheezing and heaving about topless – more seal than man. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He’s got more charisma in one not-so-little finger than any buff, six-packed Hollywood Adonis.