Precious Cargo

Don’t be fooled by the presence of Bruce Willis’s name above the title: the bald bruiser gets barely ten minutes of screen time in this Z-grade heist flick. The real star is one-time ‘Saved by the Bell’ hunk Mark-Paul Gosselaar (what kind of parent names their child Mark-Paul?), clearly seeking a fresh career as a tough-nut action hero. He plays Jack, a grizzled crim with a scuzzy beard and a heart of gold who gets roped into planning an armoured car robbery by his pregnant ex, Karen (Claire Forlani), who needs the cash to pay off psycho mobster Eddie (Willis).

Nothing remotely surprising happens over the ensuing 90-odd minutes. Bullets fly, curses are hurled, Willis threatens some chumps. But ‘Precious Cargo’ isn’t actually as objectionable as your average petrol-station-bargain-bin thriller, thanks to one or two half-decent lines, a plot that vaguely makes sense and an unexpected dearth of outright misogyny. It’s still pretty rubbish, though