Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert

First a little background: Hannah Montana is both the name of a Disney Channel show and the fictitious moniker used by MOR country singer Billy Ray Cyrus’s 16-year-old daughter, Miley. Aside from her TV acting career, Miley’s also a singer, though you wouldn’t know it from watching this puffed-up 3D concert film of her (corporate) sell-out US tour. We’re talking vapidity on a grand scale.

The songs are of such puerile, clichéd nothingness, they had me ripping the stuffing from the cinema’s seats. After the fifth song – at the same tempo – I resorted to eating it. To give her some credit, she’s a gregarious (albeit talentless) girl who knows how to play her audience. But then she has been coached in the art of contrivance, as we discover during a couple of pre-concert rehearsal scenes.

Honestly, the whole thing washed over me in a foggy malaise of flashing lights and cornily choreographed set pieces. And I wasn’t the only one to feel the effect; even the two knowledgeable 11-year-old kids I took along were left feeling equally shell shocked.