Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

A James Bond/‘Mission: Impossible’ pastiche mixing live action with talking CG animals, this 3D sequel to 2001’s witless farrago is such an irredeemable failure that, judging by the silent reaction of every child at the screening, I would guess they would rather have been at home doing trigonometry. No improbable stone is left unturned as the convoluted ’60s-style spy caper unfolds to present a tale of conflict between two of mankind’s most popular pets. On one side we have the secret, ultra-hi-tech organisation, Dogs HQ, and on the other, the terrifying spectre of a bald pussy with plans to take over the world. You do wonder how this odious enterprise ever got the green light: the script suggests it was developed on the hoof; the CGI is low grade stuff; and the human performances are loathsome. Worst of all, it’s not even funny. Very paw.