Toys

Levinson's film not only establishes a daunting benchmark for the year's worst, its dire whimsicality will impel many viewers to rush home and kick the hamster. Following the death of toy manufacturer Zevo (O'Connor) whose beanie has ceased to spin, Zevo Toys is inherited by villainous Uncle Leland (Gambon), who plans to pervert the innocent business into the production of lethal military weapons. For most of the film, nephew Leslie (Williams) is too wimpish to oppose him, and his sister Alsatia (Cusack) is clearly one step ahead of the butterfly nets. It's all finally resolved by a war between the toys, with teddy bears dropping like ninepins before the computerised tanks. Some marks for Scarfiotti's sets, but the concept - 'Open the doors to your imagination' goes the injunction - is so sub-Tim Burton that those doors fly shut. The script is haphazard, and our Gambon gets a scene to explain why, as an American general, he sounds so English. Williams has been playing nauseatingly cute for ages, but achieves a new squashiness here as a chatterbox Andy Pandy. Unbelievably rotten.