Blade: Trinity

Stephen Norrington’s ‘Blade’ was a tasteless Big Mac movie; Guillermo del Toro’s ‘Blade II’ was a bloody Mexican feast; Goyer’s ‘Blade: Trinity’ is a micro-waved TV dinner. Demented, stary-eyed vampire Danica Talos (Posey) and her acolytes have resurrected ‘the vampire of all vampires’, Dracula (Purcell). The shape-shifting Drake, as he is now known, can take the form of any human. So why choose to look a steroid-crazed East European bouncer? Anyway, lone vampire-killer Blade (Snipes) is forced to team up with Abigail (Biel) – illegitimate daughter of his old side-kick Whistler (Kristofferson) – and her guerrilla band of Nightstalkers. The youthful protagonists, video-game visuals, flip humour and head-banging music are aimed at younger viewers, but no amount of frenetic activity can disguise the film’s utter lack of imagination. Some of the new weaponry is cool, especially the ultra-violet arc. Otherwise, this has all the appeal of reheated, congealed blood.