Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines

Come back James Cameron! Cheerfully ripping off Terminators 1 and 2, and even rip-offs of same, this has Stahl as John Connor (Edward Furlong as was), living 'off the grid', wondering idly whether his mom was crazy or if he really is meant to save the world one day. As fate would have it, he meets cute with his first love (Danes, a pale reflection of Linda Hamilton's Sarah) when she catches him trying to steal drugs from a vet (don't ask!). Their reunion climaxes in attempted assassination by breast-enhanced terminatrix Loken (very Species, this), rescue by our old chum T800 (aka Arnie) and numbing crane/fire-truck demolition derby sequence. And they say romance is dead. The nuclear nightmare which gave the earlier Terminator movies their centre of gravity rings pretty hollow in this shamelessly cheesy retread. Rise has two things going for it: feeble jokes and Arnold Schwarzenegger (okay, maybe that's one thing). Mostow, a proficient hack on the evidence of Breakdown and U-571, has no delusions of grandeur, and after Matrix Recycled and the unspeakable The Hulk, we must be grateful for that. Arnie say: 'Relax.'