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  • Features

    Time Out Chicago / Issue 125 : Jul 19–25, 2007
    Dive bars

    Dive in

    By TOC staff

    Photo: Brian Willette

    It happened about the same time PBR became “cool.” New bars, gutted and rehabbed, were studiously reworked to resemble your shoddy corner tap. Yet no matter how hard these wanna-bes tried to emulate the sticky floors, creepy regulars and boiled-egg aromas of a real dive, they always came up short. Turns out there’s something about a dive that’s impossible to copy. Maybe it’s the way eeriness coexists with homeyness or the fact that you can go into one looking your grungiest and no one will judge. Maybe it’s the way that $5 at a dive bar seems to stretch infinitely, garnering a couple songs on the jukebox, a bag of chips and several beers to boot. Maybe it’s simply the quality of the bartenders. But we suspect that it all comes down to the people who hang out there.  Leaving no cardboard coaster unturned, we tracked down some of the city’s most loyal regulars and found out how they got that way. So, pull up a wobbly stool and take notes—after reading this package, you’ll probably want to become a regular yourself.

    Booze clues: Searching for an authentic dive? Look for the beef jerky, dollar shots and these other essential elements.
    The great pretenders: How to tell when a hipster bar is masquerading as a dive bar.
    Bitter brew: Only a brave few can stomach Chicago’s infamous wormwood liqueur, Jeppson’s Malört.
    Tales from the taps: Spend a few years working behind a bar and you’ll see your share of brawls, barflys and brewhaha. We asked our favorite ’tenders to share their most amazing stories.
    Take five: Think your fiver can’t even buy you a cocktail at most bars? You’re right. But at these joints, that bill goes a long way.
    Meet the regulars: Ever wanted to have a home away from home, where the bartender starts fixing your drink when you walk in the door? These local barflys are living the dream.
    Battle of the B-list brews: Cheap swill is synonymous with dive bars, but all shitty beer is not the same. Here’s how to pick the best of the worst the next time you dive in.
    Signs of the times: Six bars. Six Old Style signs. One pub crawl. I lived to tell the tale.
    Plus:
    Dive instructor: With a few so-called dive bars offering flavored martinis and candle-lit table service, there seems to be some confusion over whether certain bars are dives or not. Take our quiz to see if your favorite bar is a true dive.



    Next: Booze clues




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    • 3140 rob krueger Sat, Jan 26, at 10:39am
      Does anyone have a photo or video of the amazing sunrise over Lake Michigan in Chicago on Wednesday 1-23-2008? There was a vertical beam going straight up into the sky and it lasted for a long time.

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